My 100 day project so far

This is the second year in a row where I have done the 100 day project. Last years project was  about showing up and making stuff.

Consistently.

I made what I felt like making and I was pretty happy with the result. It wasn't a holistic project that was cohesive and thematic, but I was proud that I made something and shared it everyday. 

I'm the type of person who tends to say I'm going to do things and then just not follow through fully ie: 'I want to write a book!' 'I should finish some more study!' 'I should drink less coffee!' With a an art practice and habit I formed, I had to reflect - do I really want to do those things if I didn't actually commit? 

This years project has been different. Completely different. I had been dabbling in making pattern designs since I had first started on my art journey. There was something about making them that I liked; the repeating motifs, the puzzle, the creating something out of pieces of other things that I really connected to. When I took a few online classes in making repeating patterns, something bubbled to surface. I would think about making patterns ALL day. The designs, the combinations, the colours, the motifs and the possibilities of what I could create. I also began to notice the patterns around me. They were EVERYWHERE. In my closet, (pretty much every piece of clothing I owned had a pattern on it), when I went shopping, when I looked at the trees, when I looked at flowers. Everything. It was there, but I just hadn't seen it before. 

My project started strong. I loved making motifs and putting them together in patterns.  I made a pattern every day. It meant that it didn't matter how much time I was spending doing it. The washing up piled up, the house was messy - it didn't matter, I just wanted to make patterns. I made motifs on my lunch break, I snapped photos of flowers, I endlessly scrolled Instagram and Pinterest. I looked and I looked and saw inspiration everywhere. 

I tend to go into things with a passionate intensity and this was no different. However I've found that this level of intensity leads me to burn out and then out of complete exahustion I end up giving up. I didn't want this to happen again. I saw that the every.single.day. pattern making was leading me in that direction, that making patterns is damn time consuming and I was spending more time doing it then I was hanging out with my husband in the evenings. 

The obligation to do the 100 day project is a huge internal battle. We see that everyone is keeping up with making something everyday even when it might not be true and we don't see those who don't post every day, we don't even make that connection that they might be in the same position as I might be. I've said I'm crafting patterns for 100 days, I have to do it otherwise I'll look like a fool! 

I have realised that no-one cares more than you. No-one cares if you don't post that piece everyday. Nothing will happen if you don't. 

Life gets in the way and that is okay. I'd rather slow down and still do 100 days of making patterns, but at my own pace. If I do it every day, GREAT! but I also have other stuff to do. I have to work, I play sport, I have a home that I want to enjoy and time I want to take to recharge and re-energise. I want to live a life where I am intentional about what kind of art I am making and how I am living in this world. 

I want to tell stories.

I want balance. 

This is what my 100 day project is turning into. And it's a wonderful thing. 

Be kind to yourself. 

xx Carrie

Carrie EsplinComment